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I feel I am still in the same place ! I wanna move but don’t know how. 

I feel I am still in the same place ! I wanna move but don’t know how. 

Many times, I think I am going thought a midlife crisis. I feel totally “LOST” when my friends tell me that “hey, I am getting married or I am having a baby”. The last time that I went to friends’ baby shower, and I felt like I was an ice cube. I was frozen, so I could not feel the temperature with other people in the house. I felt alone, but the reality is I am doing well without marriage. Am I ready to be a mother? Oh, no, I am absolute not ready yet. In my county, there is a nickname for woman being 30 year old without marry, they call them as “expired woman”. My mother always calls me, and asks me “are you getting marry or not? Did you finish your school yet? “I felt so stressful, and hopeless. This kind of satiation is not so healthy for me with my boy friends, and I want to find a tactical shift to change my midlife crisis. I need to change my life, and I am going to make myself ready to be young again. 
            I remember that I used to like dress up, and wore my sexy high heel shoes. Since I am going to be 30 year old, and I try to dress up like ordinary girl. I need to forget my age, and I should not to limit myself, not only clothes, but also everything. First of all, I need to put on my makeup with my wolford tiger pop dress. I need to get a drink with my close friends, and just to have some fun. There is nothing wrong with girls who are 30 years old going to a club and dance like a first 21 year old. 
            Research suggests that learning second (or third) languages is easier for young children. I agree that, and I am going to learn a third language like a young children. I need to start from beginning; I want to take Spanish class. I know it is going to be hardest challenge for me to adopt a third language. However, five year ago, my English ability was zero, and now I am able to communicate with American. I need to make this third language plan to positively change in my world, and I know it will be interesting that I could speak Española. 
            Money, houses, brand new cars, and stocks are the popular Asian conversation subjects in my life circle. But I just listen, but I don’t have ability to speak up with any of them. I actually felt hurt, when I know that my friends who won a lot of money on stocks, or my friends got a brand new Benz with new properties. Of course, I felt happy for them, but I looked down myself in the same time. I need to adjust this anomic mindset, and I need to forget everything I know and I see from other people. I have to see what I have been missing in my beautiful life, and I have to find my ways to see the different value of my real life. I must manage my power over my own mind, not outside event. Forget what my friends have, and I will find my strength back. 
            When I was a child I did everything I wanted without permission. Once I grow up, I want people to accept me, and I do what is acceptable for people to accept me. Today, I am not going to remember that I am going to 30 year old. I am a brand new person now, and I want to drive myself to different direction than other people. I am going to look at mirror now, and to touch one of wrinkles in my right side of face. I am sure that I am going to feel young again. Certainty, I found my strategy to resist my age, and I going to have a dream to fill my life. 

Many times, I think I am going thought a midlife crisis. I feel totally “LOST” when my friends tell me that “hey, I am getting married or I am having a baby”. The last time that I went to friends’ baby shower, and I felt like I was an ice cube. I was frozen, so I could not feel the temperature with other people in the house. I felt alone, but the reality is I am doing well without marriage. Am I ready to be a mother? Oh, no, I am absolute not ready yet. In my county, there is a nickname for woman being 30 year old without marry, they call them as “expired woman”. My mother always calls me, and asks me “are you getting marry or not? Did you finish your school yet? “I felt so stressful, and hopeless. This kind of satiation is not so healthy for me with my boy friends, and I want to find a tactical shift to change my midlife crisis. I need to change my life, and I am going to make myself ready to be young again.

            I remember that I used to like dress up, and wore my sexy high heel shoes. Since I am going to be 30 year old, and I try to dress up like ordinary girl. I need to forget my age, and I should not to limit myself, not only clothes, but also everything. First of all, I need to put on my makeup with my wolford tiger pop dress. I need to get a drink with my close friends, and just to have some fun. There is nothing wrong with girls who are 30 years old going to a club and dance like a first 21 year old.

            Research suggests that learning second (or third) languages is easier for young children. I agree that, and I am going to learn a third language like a young children. I need to start from beginning; I want to take Spanish class. I know it is going to be hardest challenge for me to adopt a third language. However, five year ago, my English ability was zero, and now I am able to communicate with American. I need to make this third language plan to positively change in my world, and I know it will be interesting that I could speak Española.

            Money, houses, brand new cars, and stocks are the popular Asian conversation subjects in my life circle. But I just listen, but I don’t have ability to speak up with any of them. I actually felt hurt, when I know that my friends who won a lot of money on stocks, or my friends got a brand new Benz with new properties. Of course, I felt happy for them, but I looked down myself in the same time. I need to adjust this anomic mindset, and I need to forget everything I know and I see from other people. I have to see what I have been missing in my beautiful life, and I have to find my ways to see the different value of my real life. I must manage my power over my own mind, not outside event. Forget what my friends have, and I will find my strength back.

            When I was a child I did everything I wanted without permission. Once I grow up, I want people to accept me, and I do what is acceptable for people to accept me. Today, I am not going to remember that I am going to 30 year old. I am a brand new person now, and I want to drive myself to different direction than other people. I am going to look at mirror now, and to touch one of wrinkles in my right side of face. I am sure that I am going to feel young again. Certainty, I found my strategy to resist my age, and I going to have a dream to fill my life. 

Friendless - I was just mention about I felt friendless day by day yesterday . This morning I just got a phone call from my cousin , she told me that one of my friends just jump to ocean to end of her life . I know her since i was 15  years old but I dont even know why she wanted to end Of her life .This was very shock for me . I have two friends who suicided because of their love relationship . I feel very sorry for them but things just happened  unavoidable . After their death I want to call them and I want to tell them that they could tell me all the things they want to say . I want to tell them i m also under a lot of stress with pain . I also had idea to end of my life but i have chosen to be a brave woman to fight for my life, however, I already lost the chance to tell them !!!   I have learned a lesson that I should contact my friends sometimes !!! In order to know my friends status and keep friendship as a richest thing in the world !!! Suicide is most unacceptable in my religion role , but in my point of view , we all end of death . My friends , please rest peace in haven ! I know you must been suffering so many pain !!! R.I.P I will alway miss u and your smile !

Friendless - I was just mention about I felt friendless day by day yesterday . This morning I just got a phone call from my cousin , she told me that one of my friends just jump to ocean to end of her life . I know her since i was 15 years old but I dont even know why she wanted to end Of her life .This was very shock for me . I have two friends who suicided because of their love relationship . I feel very sorry for them but things just happened unavoidable . After their death I want to call them and I want to tell them that they could tell me all the things they want to say . I want to tell them i m also under a lot of stress with pain . I also had idea to end of my life but i have chosen to be a brave woman to fight for my life, however, I already lost the chance to tell them !!! I have learned a lesson that I should contact my friends sometimes !!! In order to know my friends status and keep friendship as a richest thing in the world !!! Suicide is most unacceptable in my religion role , but in my point of view , we all end of death . My friends , please rest peace in haven ! I know you must been suffering so many pain !!! R.I.P I will alway miss u and your smile !

我並不知道我在渴望什麼!我頭腦想的其實很簡單,但是表示卻失去平衡。

我並不知道我在渴望什麼!我頭腦想的其實很簡單,但是表示卻失去平衡。

Thank you Bebe !! We have been together for five years and half now . You really give me a lot of support ! Love u !

Thank you Bebe !! We have been together for five years and half now . You really give me a lot of support ! Love u !

你 曾 經 讓 我 變 得 不 孤 獨 也 是 你 讓 我 更 孤 獨😔

你 曾 經 讓 我 變 得 不 孤 獨 也 是 你 讓 我 更 孤 獨😔

Love never fails, it will always find a way to have its way.

Love never fails, it will always find a way to have its way.

"you know I love you, buy the words never brought you to that knowledge. "

"you know I love you, buy the words never brought you to that knowledge. "

Long weekend is over soon !! There is nothing important than cook a dinner & enjoy last day of vacation at home !

Long weekend is over soon !! There is nothing important than cook a dinner & enjoy last day of vacation at home !

A week of food & drink  ❤

A week of food & drink  ❤

Cupcakes

Cupcakes

My boyfriend’s co-worker are super nice .
I love to hang out with them.

My boyfriend’s co-worker are super nice .

I love to hang out with them.

I feel I am still in the same place ! I wanna move but don’t know how. 

I feel I am still in the same place ! I wanna move but don’t know how. 

Many times, I think I am going thought a midlife crisis. I feel totally “LOST” when my friends tell me that “hey, I am getting married or I am having a baby”. The last time that I went to friends’ baby shower, and I felt like I was an ice cube. I was frozen, so I could not feel the temperature with other people in the house. I felt alone, but the reality is I am doing well without marriage. Am I ready to be a mother? Oh, no, I am absolute not ready yet. In my county, there is a nickname for woman being 30 year old without marry, they call them as “expired woman”. My mother always calls me, and asks me “are you getting marry or not? Did you finish your school yet? “I felt so stressful, and hopeless. This kind of satiation is not so healthy for me with my boy friends, and I want to find a tactical shift to change my midlife crisis. I need to change my life, and I am going to make myself ready to be young again. 
            I remember that I used to like dress up, and wore my sexy high heel shoes. Since I am going to be 30 year old, and I try to dress up like ordinary girl. I need to forget my age, and I should not to limit myself, not only clothes, but also everything. First of all, I need to put on my makeup with my wolford tiger pop dress. I need to get a drink with my close friends, and just to have some fun. There is nothing wrong with girls who are 30 years old going to a club and dance like a first 21 year old. 
            Research suggests that learning second (or third) languages is easier for young children. I agree that, and I am going to learn a third language like a young children. I need to start from beginning; I want to take Spanish class. I know it is going to be hardest challenge for me to adopt a third language. However, five year ago, my English ability was zero, and now I am able to communicate with American. I need to make this third language plan to positively change in my world, and I know it will be interesting that I could speak Española. 
            Money, houses, brand new cars, and stocks are the popular Asian conversation subjects in my life circle. But I just listen, but I don’t have ability to speak up with any of them. I actually felt hurt, when I know that my friends who won a lot of money on stocks, or my friends got a brand new Benz with new properties. Of course, I felt happy for them, but I looked down myself in the same time. I need to adjust this anomic mindset, and I need to forget everything I know and I see from other people. I have to see what I have been missing in my beautiful life, and I have to find my ways to see the different value of my real life. I must manage my power over my own mind, not outside event. Forget what my friends have, and I will find my strength back. 
            When I was a child I did everything I wanted without permission. Once I grow up, I want people to accept me, and I do what is acceptable for people to accept me. Today, I am not going to remember that I am going to 30 year old. I am a brand new person now, and I want to drive myself to different direction than other people. I am going to look at mirror now, and to touch one of wrinkles in my right side of face. I am sure that I am going to feel young again. Certainty, I found my strategy to resist my age, and I going to have a dream to fill my life. 

Many times, I think I am going thought a midlife crisis. I feel totally “LOST” when my friends tell me that “hey, I am getting married or I am having a baby”. The last time that I went to friends’ baby shower, and I felt like I was an ice cube. I was frozen, so I could not feel the temperature with other people in the house. I felt alone, but the reality is I am doing well without marriage. Am I ready to be a mother? Oh, no, I am absolute not ready yet. In my county, there is a nickname for woman being 30 year old without marry, they call them as “expired woman”. My mother always calls me, and asks me “are you getting marry or not? Did you finish your school yet? “I felt so stressful, and hopeless. This kind of satiation is not so healthy for me with my boy friends, and I want to find a tactical shift to change my midlife crisis. I need to change my life, and I am going to make myself ready to be young again.

            I remember that I used to like dress up, and wore my sexy high heel shoes. Since I am going to be 30 year old, and I try to dress up like ordinary girl. I need to forget my age, and I should not to limit myself, not only clothes, but also everything. First of all, I need to put on my makeup with my wolford tiger pop dress. I need to get a drink with my close friends, and just to have some fun. There is nothing wrong with girls who are 30 years old going to a club and dance like a first 21 year old.

            Research suggests that learning second (or third) languages is easier for young children. I agree that, and I am going to learn a third language like a young children. I need to start from beginning; I want to take Spanish class. I know it is going to be hardest challenge for me to adopt a third language. However, five year ago, my English ability was zero, and now I am able to communicate with American. I need to make this third language plan to positively change in my world, and I know it will be interesting that I could speak Española.

            Money, houses, brand new cars, and stocks are the popular Asian conversation subjects in my life circle. But I just listen, but I don’t have ability to speak up with any of them. I actually felt hurt, when I know that my friends who won a lot of money on stocks, or my friends got a brand new Benz with new properties. Of course, I felt happy for them, but I looked down myself in the same time. I need to adjust this anomic mindset, and I need to forget everything I know and I see from other people. I have to see what I have been missing in my beautiful life, and I have to find my ways to see the different value of my real life. I must manage my power over my own mind, not outside event. Forget what my friends have, and I will find my strength back.

            When I was a child I did everything I wanted without permission. Once I grow up, I want people to accept me, and I do what is acceptable for people to accept me. Today, I am not going to remember that I am going to 30 year old. I am a brand new person now, and I want to drive myself to different direction than other people. I am going to look at mirror now, and to touch one of wrinkles in my right side of face. I am sure that I am going to feel young again. Certainty, I found my strategy to resist my age, and I going to have a dream to fill my life. 

Friendless - I was just mention about I felt friendless day by day yesterday . This morning I just got a phone call from my cousin , she told me that one of my friends just jump to ocean to end of her life . I know her since i was 15  years old but I dont even know why she wanted to end Of her life .This was very shock for me . I have two friends who suicided because of their love relationship . I feel very sorry for them but things just happened  unavoidable . After their death I want to call them and I want to tell them that they could tell me all the things they want to say . I want to tell them i m also under a lot of stress with pain . I also had idea to end of my life but i have chosen to be a brave woman to fight for my life, however, I already lost the chance to tell them !!!   I have learned a lesson that I should contact my friends sometimes !!! In order to know my friends status and keep friendship as a richest thing in the world !!! Suicide is most unacceptable in my religion role , but in my point of view , we all end of death . My friends , please rest peace in haven ! I know you must been suffering so many pain !!! R.I.P I will alway miss u and your smile !

Friendless - I was just mention about I felt friendless day by day yesterday . This morning I just got a phone call from my cousin , she told me that one of my friends just jump to ocean to end of her life . I know her since i was 15 years old but I dont even know why she wanted to end Of her life .This was very shock for me . I have two friends who suicided because of their love relationship . I feel very sorry for them but things just happened unavoidable . After their death I want to call them and I want to tell them that they could tell me all the things they want to say . I want to tell them i m also under a lot of stress with pain . I also had idea to end of my life but i have chosen to be a brave woman to fight for my life, however, I already lost the chance to tell them !!! I have learned a lesson that I should contact my friends sometimes !!! In order to know my friends status and keep friendship as a richest thing in the world !!! Suicide is most unacceptable in my religion role , but in my point of view , we all end of death . My friends , please rest peace in haven ! I know you must been suffering so many pain !!! R.I.P I will alway miss u and your smile !

我並不知道我在渴望什麼!我頭腦想的其實很簡單,但是表示卻失去平衡。

我並不知道我在渴望什麼!我頭腦想的其實很簡單,但是表示卻失去平衡。

Thank you Bebe !! We have been together for five years and half now . You really give me a lot of support ! Love u !

Thank you Bebe !! We have been together for five years and half now . You really give me a lot of support ! Love u !

你 曾 經 讓 我 變 得 不 孤 獨 也 是 你 讓 我 更 孤 獨😔

你 曾 經 讓 我 變 得 不 孤 獨 也 是 你 讓 我 更 孤 獨😔

Love never fails, it will always find a way to have its way.

Love never fails, it will always find a way to have its way.

"you know I love you, buy the words never brought you to that knowledge. "

"you know I love you, buy the words never brought you to that knowledge. "

Long weekend is over soon !! There is nothing important than cook a dinner & enjoy last day of vacation at home !

Long weekend is over soon !! There is nothing important than cook a dinner & enjoy last day of vacation at home !

A week of food & drink  ❤

A week of food & drink  ❤

HoT ….

HoT ….

Cupcakes

Cupcakes

(via junayyee)

My boyfriend’s co-worker are super nice .
I love to hang out with them.

My boyfriend’s co-worker are super nice .

I love to hang out with them.

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